Good Morning! Companies are already starting to unveil their 2024 return-to-office plans. Nike’s requiring their employees to come back to the office four days a week, and Roblox is asking its employees to either come in 3x a week or quit.

It’s looking like Americans under 35 are reviving cafes and single-handedly keeping the iced coffee industry afloat. Thanks to their daily caffeine addiction habit, coffee shops are back to pre-pandemic valuations.

If you’re a new homeowner, don't expect to make a profit anytime soon. New data shows that, if you buy a home at an 8% interest rate and 20% down payment, it will take over 10 years just to break even.

ICYMI: We're thrilled to introduce the Short Squeez Community, a dedicated space for us to share ideas, knowledge and resources. Plus, receive our exclusive excel shortcut guide as a welcome gift upon joining!

_{SQUEEZ OF THE DAY}

Cartman, Carlyle, and Capital

With LBOs drying up, Carlyle Group is getting fancy with ways to make a quick buck in 2023. They’re partnering with South Park’s masterminds, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and are prepared to cut them an $800 million loan.

The loan will be made via Carlyle's credit arm, and will be used to pay off a $600 million debt facility that HPS Investment Partners dished out back in 2021. The rest of the proceeds will fund a lucrative cash payout.

Back in 2021, Parker and Stone also struck gold with a deal from ViacomCBS Inc., worth more than $900 million spread out over six years. 

The HPS loan appraised their library at close to $1 billion at the time, and was one of the largest in TV history.

Takeaway: Carlyle Group, it seems, is out to conquer the entertainment universe. They threw $175 million at New Regency earlier this year, and let's not forget the Carlyle-backed venture that snatched up Katy Perry's song catalog. Who's next on their list, the Simpsons for a 'D'oh-lar' deal?

_{CAPITAL PULSE}

Markets Rundown

Stocks closed lower as Treasury yields climbed.

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Knight-Swift Transportation ($KNX) +12% after the transportation company beat earnings.

• (–) Regions Financial ($RF) -12% after the regional bank missed on EPS.

• (–) SolarEdge ($SEDG) -27% after lowering guidance, warning of lower demand in Europe.

Private Dealmaking

• Zhipu, a generative AI startup, raised $342 million

• Petfolk, a vet care company, raised $40 million

• Lanes & Planes, a business travel management SaaS, raised $35 million

• Perch, a community solar services provider, raised $30 million

• Bastion, a web3 infrastructure startup, raised $25 million

• Traydstream, a trade document automation startup, raised $21 million

Get access to private deal flow here.

_{SPONSORED BY FIERCE}

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Do you really have time for a dozen different apps to manage your money? 

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Plus, Fierce integrates with your existing accounts, so you don’t have to switch banks. 

Ready to maximize your money (and time)? Download Fierce today and score up to $500 in bonus cash after your first deposit.

_HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Higher rates for longer will test corporate debt’s maturity wall (Axios)

• Five investors on investing in the 5% world (WSJ)

• The new strategy for U.S. banks is to shrink (YF)

• How billionaire philanthropy has turned selfish (Axios)

• SBF’s adderall usage a focal point in FTX trial (Fox)

• Tesla stock ends week down 15%, worst performance of the year (CNBC)

• Private credit managers seek retail investors in Beverly Hills (BB)

• Private equity firms forced to kick in more cash to shore up PortCos (WSJ)

• Wall Street cues a lesson in Ivory Tower finance (Reuters)

• Here’s what 8% mortgage rates will do to the housing market (BB)

_{BOOK OF THE DAY}

Awaken Your Genius

We say some people march to the beat of a different drummer. But implicit in this cliché is that the rest of us march to the same beat. We sleepwalk through life, find ourselves on well-worn paths that were never ours to walk, and become a silent extra in someone else’s story.

Extraordinary people carve their own paths as leaders and creators. They think and act with genuine independence. They stand out from the crowd because they embody their own shape and color.

We call these people geniuses—as if they’re another breed. But genius isn’t for a special few. It can be cultivated.

This book will show you how. You’ll learn how to discard what no longer serves you and discover your first principles—the qualities that make up your genius. You’ll be equipped to escape your intellectual prisons and generate original insights from your own depths.

“Unlock your originality and unleash your unique talents.”

_{ENLIGHTENMENT}

Short Squeez Picks

• How the science of proximity boosts motivation

• 9 tips to stay organized at work

• A few laws of getting rich

• 4 forces that are fundamentally changing how we work

• How to showcase your emotional intelligence in a job interview

_{DAILY VISUAL}

High Rents and Mortgage Rates Squeeze Gen Z

US share who spend 30% or more of their income on housing

_{SPONSORED BY HEAR.COM}

A New Standard For Hearing Clarity

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Thanks to the world's first dual processing system, you can now enjoy clear speech with minimum background distractions in even the noisiest environments.

Take comfort in knowing that you're choosing a hearing aid that people genuinely enjoy wearing.

Try Hear.com’s 45-day no-risk trial today!

_{DAILY ACUMEN}

Friends

Friends – they're like your chosen family, only with fewer awkward Thanksgiving dinners. But if your buddies occasionally leave you feeling as unsatisfied as a half-empty bag of potato chips, don't fret; you're not alone. Turns out, your various pals serve up different emotional dishes, and no single one offers the whole buffet of fulfillment.

There are eight types of "vital friends," each offering a distinct emotional seasoning to your life's potluck. Builders are like coaches, always pushing you to be your best. Champions are the cheerleaders, constantly singing your praises.

Collaborators are the partners in crime, ready to dive into new capers with you. Companions are the tried-and-true besties who've got your back through thick and thin. Connectors are your ticket to meeting new people, Energizers are the fun-loving jokesters.

Mind Openers are the intellectual sparks that ignite your curiosity. Navigators are the guides through life's treacherous terrain, offering sage advice and helping you chart your course.

So, the next time you're feeling like you're at a smorgasbord with a menu that leaves you wanting, think about which of these friends you have in your circle and who you might need to find.

You don't need to collect them all like Pokémon, but a well-rounded group of pals can certainly make life's banquet more delicious.

_{MEME-A-PALOOZA}

Memes of the Day